Treehouses

     I’m not much of a daredevil when it comes to making big decisions; in fact, in the biopic of my life, I’m probably played by Ben Stiller’s character in Along Came Polly – I’m just not a big risk taker. It wasn’t always that way, though. When I was 18, I left home for college and spent four years in a little, big city with quick access to bigger, livelier cities like Austin and Dallas. It was a risky move for a sheltered, Hispanic kid, but it was fun, and despite the adversity that any Hispanic person faces when diving head first into places that aren’t as racially welcoming as El Paso, I still saw myself living anywhere but El Paso. Moving just wasn’t a big deal.

     Now at 29 and back in my hometown, however, I don’t think I would ever make the same kind of move. Sure, I have a family now and relocating them to a different city would be equally daunting and uneasy for all of us, but it’s not fear and inconvenience that keeps us from leaving El Paso. I believe, as I’m sure most of you do, that Home is where the Heart is, and so moving my little family, along with all the love in our Hearts we have for each other, would bring meaning to our new abode…our new Home. But what that beautiful old adage fails to mention is how many Hearts are really involved in the making of a Home.

    

     When I left for Waco, at the age of 18, I didn’t realize just how many people were affected by me leaving. But now, approaching thirty, my idea of Home is alot different. My Home is more like a treehouse, with roots digging deep into the cultural soil of El Paso and intertwining with the roots of other families’ treehouses – my parents’, Cristina’s parents’, our siblings’, our friends’, the list goes on. Moving then becomes something more than just relocating, it’s unearthing those roots, exposing those delicate relationships and stressing them, sometimes to the brink of extinction. We move and the strong roots – the real strong ties (moms, dads, brothers, sisters) – resist the stress, but the weaker ones – the more superficial ties (some friendships, acquaintances) – snap. The strong ones grow again and the weak ones die out, but every relationship feels the heartache.

     

     We decided to stay here not because of fear of the unknown, or because it’s convenient to call on family members to babysit, but because the look on our kids’ faces when my mom stops by for a random Krispy Kreme visit, or when Cristina’s mom pops in with a pot of albondigas, is priceless. Because life is short and our time is precious, and most of our time has been spent building these relationships, and growing these roots, and waiting to enjoy the fruits of that work. Because nobody is here forever and we hate regrets.

     

     This is why we chose El Paso. Everyone has their own idea of what Home is, but wherever you end up, make sure you remind your loved ones just how loved they really are.